Besotted

By: Georgia Le Carre


Q: What was going through your head when you met Lana’s mother?

A: She was sweet and well educated and she obviously loved her daughter very much. I liked her and I was very sorry when I heard she died. Something brave about her. Lana has that same quality. I rate it very highly in a person.

Q: At what point did you realize your feelings had changed towards Lana?

A: It happened almost immediately, but I was slow to recognize it, or more likely, I didn’t want to recognize it.

Q; The first morning, waking up together, what did you feel?

A: The morning-after scene is always a bore, but seduced by the smell of her hair and the feel of her skin—he has the most amazing skin, like a baby soft and silky—I stayed.

Q: What went through your head when Lana first declared her love to you?

A: If someone takes money to leave you while you are lying unconsciousness in some hospital and afterwards never bothers to contact you again, what would you think if they then claimed to love you. What would you think? Exactly. I thought she was a fucking liar and I hated her guts, but still I wanted her.

Q: Which emotion was stronger, anger or lust, when you met Lana again at the bank?

A: To start with anger, somewhere in the middle of the encounter, lust. And then when she cried over her mother’s death, tenderness, and then it was back to fury. And as she rose to leave, pure triumph. I got her…where I wanted her.

Q: How did you deal with having to choose Lana over his father?

A: Sometimes I have nightmares. In it I am in the plane with my father. He is in his thirties. His hair is without grey and he is slim and tall. He is calmly eating chateaubriand with béarnaise sauce and chips.

“You betrayed me,” he says, wiping his mouth on a napkin. “The same fate awaits you.”

And a hole appears in the side of the plane and he is sucked out. His expression is one of indescribable terror. “Your son will do to you what you have done to me.”

And I wake up in a cold sweat.

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