Keeping SecretsBy: Kristol Locks
“You want what?” Myles asked as he reached for me, and I backed up to avoid another embrace with him.
“I want to say goodbye. I am telling you I made a mistake. I want us to let this go. I don’t want to do anything that is going to cause me more regrets.”
Myles looked at the ground and back at me. “I was worried that my wife would find out. You had access to her phone number. A lot of things went through my mind. It does not mean I don’t care about you. I made a mistake. I made judgments about you that I should not have. I’m sorry.”
“Ending things should be easy for you, Myles. You have a life, wife, great career, and I am nothing more than a distraction. I know there is chemistry between us, but it will fade away. I don’t need this drama. If I regret anything, it is that I did not listen to you when you tried to get me to leave your office. We took things too far and look what happened.”
“I guess what you are saying is that the sex in my office was enough for you. It’s easy for you to walk away now. I get that. I believe you are now the teacher, Charlotte. And I am your student.”
I felt his sadness, and it softened me. I took a step toward him. “Myles, I did not realize how hard this would be for you. You are worried about your wife finding out, if I can be trusted, and how this will end. The thing is I don’t have those worries. I don’t have someone at home who is waiting for me. I don’t have your life, and I don’t want it.” I held his leather-gloved hands. “I wanted a man to wake me up inside. After my engagement ended, I did not know if I could ever get close to another man again. Then you entered my universe, and I felt like I could be me with you. I felt like we could share some special time together before I graduated. I never thought about all of the problems that I could cause you. I somehow just thought you could separate me from your real-life. I just did not see all this drama coming. You were my fantasy, and . . . I just woke up to the reality of all of this.”
“And now you don’t want me?” His hazel eyes stared at me for an honest answer.
“I don’t want to deal with all the work that is involved in being with you. I don’t want this. Life is too short. I don’t want you losing sleep at night, because you are worried about what I might do or say. Do you think you could stop worrying? Is that really in your nature, Myles?”
Myles sighed, “I don’t know how to answer that.”
“You just did.”
“I guess it all ends here and now. I just did not expect that I would be the one feeling such a loss. I don’t know what I expected, but I already miss being with you. Crazy-I know. You bite the apple, and you pay the price.”
“I am going to stay under the bridge for a few minutes. I don’t think anyone is out there, but I could be wrong. And if I am, it’s best that we are not seen together.”
“I agree,” I said.
“Drive safe, Charlotte.”
I ran back to my car while the thunder raged on behind me and the fierce rain hit me like bullets all over my body.
Two-weeks had gone by since I ended things with Myles. It was the right thing to do, but it was more for his benefit than mine. I knew he was struggling with his morals. I was the one that pushed him over-the-edge. If I had never walked into his office, he would still be untarnished.
I thought we could have something honest, real and short-lived. However, he was worried that I was a stalker, a thief, about his wife finding out, and who knows what else ran through his mind. It was more than I had bargained for. This was not how I thought the fantasy would play out in my head. In spite of that, I was still glad that I had sex with him.
Unknowingly, Myles helped me to realize that I could move on from the pain of my last relationship, and I could enjoy the comfort of being in another man’s arms. It was just a shame that Myles was the only man on Earth I wanted to be romantically close to. I would have done anything if he could have not worried about our relationship and just enjoy it while we had it.
I walked into my apartment, and I saw my roommates getting ready to go out. “Where are you ladies going tonight?”